I was supposed to take part in an event as part of Expozine, a Montreal based zine fair, titled Sexpozine, that focuses on sex writing within independent publishing. I was going to share about a new book I have out with a francophone Québécois press, titled L’art oublié de baiser, a French translation of my zine The forgotten art of fucking. The event is to be held at L’Eugélionne, a queer, feminist indie bookstore that I have hosted many events at and where I used to be their best selling zinester. I have not had contact with the store since my cancellation in 2020.
I received an email from the event organizers stating “The team at L’Eugélionne bookstore has shared with us their discomfort in welcoming you, due to past behavior perceived as unsupportive toward survivors of sexual violence” and disinviting me from participating in the event. L’Eugélionne has never communicated with me directly about this, clarified what their accusations against me actually are, or let me know that I am blacklisted from taking part in literary events at the store.
I am a survivor of incestuous child sexual abuse, a huge amount of physical and sexual violence, intimate partner violence, and rape. I have complex ptsd and this has shaped the entire course of my life. The majority of my writing and my career is about being a survivor and supporting survivors. I am one of the most outspoken voices doing work on the topic of incest in the English speaking world. My mother threatened to sue me for writing about the sexual abuse in my family. I receive letters from survivors almost daily about how important my work is to them in facing and transforming their trauma.
To say that I am “unsupportive toward survivors of sexual violence” is slander. To blacklist me from community events based on extremely vague and unspecific accusations, without any direct communication, or the possibility of me expressing my position, is literally silencing survivors. Not only is it silencing me, but it is silencing the many survivors who find my work life saving.
While I don’t know what exactly is meant by “past behavior perceived as unsupportive toward survivors of sexual violence,” I assume this is referring to my opposition to cancel culture. I oppose cancel culture precisely because I am a survivor. I take issue with punishment as a strategy for ending violence because I know it is not effective. My ex partner who put my body through a wall and raped me, who himself was a survivor of severe child abuse, killed himself in jail. None of this is abstract or theoretical to me. My refusal of punishment as a strategy is because I know it doesn’t work. I am not content with punishing perpetrators. I want to end the cycle of violence for good. I also take huge issue with people mischaracterizing interpersonal conflicts, political disagreements, or mismatched needs in a relationship as abuse. Not only does this make identifying abuse far more confusing and difficult (especially for those of us who have complex ptsd and can therefore have huge nervous system reactions to non-abusive situations) but it literally steals from survivors. It takes our trauma and turns it into a costume and shield that people can use to justify their own abusive behaviours towards members of their community who they have conflict with or simply don’t like.
I understand that there are people who politically disagree with this stance and they are free to do so. But to frame this stance as “unsupportive of survivors” is literally lying. To blacklist me and prevent survivors from accessing my work in community spaces is anti-survivor. Survivors, like all groups, are allowed to have internal political disagreements. There are tens of thousands of survivors who agree with my political position on the subject of cancel culture. Whether L’Eugélionne agrees with me or not, they do not have the right to slander me, and they should not decide for other survivors whether my leftist, pro-survivor, anti-violence ideas should be considered.
L’Eugélionne does not reply to any emails I send them. I am going to write to them again, requesting dialogue on this subject, and requesting that they take responsibility for slandering me with vague and baseless accusations, for ostracizing me from the tiny Anglo literary community in Montreal (which I rightfully belong to as a internationally celebrated English language writer in this city), and for speaking over the many survivors who find my work indispensable.
I am asking my readers, if you find this unacceptable, to write to L’Eugélionne and tell them why. In particular if you are a survivor who feels supported by my work, I would love for you to express that to them. There are so few writers in the English speaking world doing work on incest. My work is life saving and important. I deserve to take part in literary events in my city. At the very least, they owe me a direct conversation.
Here are the two emails you can write to:
info@librairieleuguelionne.com
evenements@librairieleuguelionne.com
Thank you for your support.
Clementine
You can still come to my book launch at another store which does not take part in blacklisting me! Please come out, your support is deeply appreciated in this hostile climate. Thursday November 13th, 6:30pm at N’était-ce pas l’été. Free admission, books and zines for sale. I will be joined by Mélissa Thériault of Sans Blague! and Miranda Schrieber of Iris and the Dead.
sent an email :) hoping you get what you deserve (dignity, welcome, and sales beyond your wildest dreams)