this speaks to me the way polyamory does: terrifying but intuitively, I understand it is right for me. I'm actually moving to your city end of summer. can I ask where you go for your weekly boogie-ing?
I love this! I also discovered ecstatic dance when I moved to Seattle last year. I completely agree with everything you've said about it. It's the most wonderful liberating practice.
"I think a lot of people feel intimidated by ecstatic dance because they only know how to look at their body from the outside and aren’t used to expressing their internal experience in a totally uninhibited way" - this is very true. I used to have an eating disorder for 10 years, and it was only after an ego death experience that I realised that I had been "thinking about myself the third person", looking at myself as if from outside. It was so normal to me I didn't realise I was doing it, and so I would spend ages looking at myself in the mirror, not out of vanity but trying to bridge the gap between this "outside" concept of myself that I had internalised as "me", and my sense of subjectivity. But when I had the ego death experience I realised that I was not an image, and the idea that I could be was ridiculous. All the concepts about myself, all the images, all the ways I think I am perceived - that's not me. I am first person consciousness, I am experience itself. In that moment I also realised that first person consciousness was the nature of the universe. That I am a manifestation of universal consciousness in a particular place and time. And in that moment the eating disorder went away, and never came back. It's been over 3 years since then and it's still gone.
Getting back to ecstatic dance, I had always had a hankering to dance but I only felt comfortable doing so in my room alone. One time my mother caught me stamping and spinning to Florence + the Machine's "Strangeness and Charm" and berated me because it was "too loud". Before moving to Seattle I would dance in my apartment alone while stoned.
And then when I joined ecstatic dance in Seattle it instantly felt like home. I was in a state of flow, I was uninhibited. I was able to connect to people. I also joined raves, and I find raves are the same kind of experience as ecstatic dance - a flow state of dance where everyone is doing their own thing.
I recently have also discovered the intense and awesome power of ecstatic dance! I agree with everything you said about it's healing properties. I also deeply appreciate that it is a sober space and has a strong focus on consent. I used to love going club dancing to move my body but it never felt totally safe but ecstatic dance provides such a beautiful container for me to let go safely without worrying about someone's alteted state becoming my problem.
I am enamored with ecstatic dance and intuitively connect with the practice for all the reasons you mention. For the past several years I've been holding a pain that has kept me away from it. In short, I was then and am now a fat person. I sweat profusely when exercising. The last time I went to ecstatic dance, a rail-thin hippie man sneered at me and berated me for ruining the dance floor. My sweat had made the space "dangerous" and "unsanitary" for him. I deeply regretted impacting his experience and never returned. For all the feel-good vibes that community espouses, I truly believed that I found the one way to do it wrong: being fat. It feels odd to ask this of strangers on the internet, even here in your Substack, but can someone help me learn how to move freely again in a body that scares others by existing?
this speaks to me the way polyamory does: terrifying but intuitively, I understand it is right for me. I'm actually moving to your city end of summer. can I ask where you go for your weekly boogie-ing?
I love this! I also discovered ecstatic dance when I moved to Seattle last year. I completely agree with everything you've said about it. It's the most wonderful liberating practice.
"I think a lot of people feel intimidated by ecstatic dance because they only know how to look at their body from the outside and aren’t used to expressing their internal experience in a totally uninhibited way" - this is very true. I used to have an eating disorder for 10 years, and it was only after an ego death experience that I realised that I had been "thinking about myself the third person", looking at myself as if from outside. It was so normal to me I didn't realise I was doing it, and so I would spend ages looking at myself in the mirror, not out of vanity but trying to bridge the gap between this "outside" concept of myself that I had internalised as "me", and my sense of subjectivity. But when I had the ego death experience I realised that I was not an image, and the idea that I could be was ridiculous. All the concepts about myself, all the images, all the ways I think I am perceived - that's not me. I am first person consciousness, I am experience itself. In that moment I also realised that first person consciousness was the nature of the universe. That I am a manifestation of universal consciousness in a particular place and time. And in that moment the eating disorder went away, and never came back. It's been over 3 years since then and it's still gone.
Getting back to ecstatic dance, I had always had a hankering to dance but I only felt comfortable doing so in my room alone. One time my mother caught me stamping and spinning to Florence + the Machine's "Strangeness and Charm" and berated me because it was "too loud". Before moving to Seattle I would dance in my apartment alone while stoned.
And then when I joined ecstatic dance in Seattle it instantly felt like home. I was in a state of flow, I was uninhibited. I was able to connect to people. I also joined raves, and I find raves are the same kind of experience as ecstatic dance - a flow state of dance where everyone is doing their own thing.
I try to recommend it to everyone I can now!
I recently have also discovered the intense and awesome power of ecstatic dance! I agree with everything you said about it's healing properties. I also deeply appreciate that it is a sober space and has a strong focus on consent. I used to love going club dancing to move my body but it never felt totally safe but ecstatic dance provides such a beautiful container for me to let go safely without worrying about someone's alteted state becoming my problem.
This sounds AMAZING.
I am enamored with ecstatic dance and intuitively connect with the practice for all the reasons you mention. For the past several years I've been holding a pain that has kept me away from it. In short, I was then and am now a fat person. I sweat profusely when exercising. The last time I went to ecstatic dance, a rail-thin hippie man sneered at me and berated me for ruining the dance floor. My sweat had made the space "dangerous" and "unsanitary" for him. I deeply regretted impacting his experience and never returned. For all the feel-good vibes that community espouses, I truly believed that I found the one way to do it wrong: being fat. It feels odd to ask this of strangers on the internet, even here in your Substack, but can someone help me learn how to move freely again in a body that scares others by existing?