I'm dealing with a professional situation where I will have to make a public statement about some unethical shit that's happening in the field, and last week I thought "if no one else than me cares about this, I must be wrong and should just shut up". And then I was like no, this is a commitment to truth. I cannot silence truth. And you were definitely someone on my mind when I thought about the hard commitment to truth. The fact that you don't give up helps me not give up on truth either. Just so you remember the importance of your work. PS Moi aussi je voulais l'emporter is such an important book to me ❤️
As a trauma therapist and national trainer on human trafficking, I struggle with shame & anxiety around what I share within the context of this work. I started marketing for my private practice after the birth of my child and loved ones/extended family treated my IG as a postpartum mental health crisis. They couldn’t bare to look at it. Ironically- they were actively denying a family members SA allegations and heavily relying on the legal burden of proof to determine child access (the legal burden of proof is rarely ever reached). This work is hard. It’s quite heavy for most people to sit with. It’s easier to rationalize and minimize. Meanwhile, the world continues to overlook risk factors, signs and symptoms of sexual abuse and incest.
J'ai fini d'écrire une longue lettre à destination du groupe d'amis que j'avais il y a quelques années et dont faisait partie un mec qui m'a violé. Je leur raconte ce qui ne m'a pas convenu dans la façon dont ils ont géré les conséquences du viol dans notre groupe, ce que j'aurais aimé qu'ils fassent à l'époque et ce qu'ils pourraient faire maintenant pour m'aider à me rendre justice. Ça me fait super peur de leur envoyer, parce que je me dis qu'ils vont (encore) me trouver folle, 7 ans après. Mais quand j'ai peur, je pense à toi, à Britney, à Loana (star de téléréalité française qui vient de mourir), et je me dis que j'ai envie de faire partie de cette forte et joyeuse bande de folles, diseuses de vérités.
J’espère que certain.e.s de ce groupe ont cultivé la capacité de rencontrer ton courage de prendre la parole avec leur propre courage d’écouter et d’entendre.
Et en tout cas j’espère que l’expérience d’être devenue, toi-même, l’amie qu’il te fallait à cette époque-là, peut t’aider à guérir. 🩷
I was so sad to hear how lonely this work is for you. Your writing has an incredible impact. I have incorporated your teaching into my work as a clinical psychologist and frequently refer to it with supervisees and clients who I would have never be able to know are incest survivors without reading you. The number of cases other clinicians bring to me where I have to point out that something is incest is so shocking. I’m so grateful for your writing - it has single-handedly (more than my actual clinical training, supervision, personal therapy or any other professional development I’ve done) made me a therapist who can acknowledge the reality of incest in people’s lives and histories and share with others about how horrifyingly endemic it is. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
I worry so much about placing heavy things in view of other people who are probably already suffering. Sometimes I lose touch with what good it can do.
But then I think of my friend who is a survivor too, and how much relief I experience when I am able to have a frank, non-euphemistic conversation about common experiences with a person who isn’t going to be shocked by what happened or how it has affected me. Having a friendship where, among other amazing things, the craziness that arises from abuse isn’t a demerit against our humanity and dignity, is priceless to me.
As survivors we need each other and we can’t access each other without the courage to disclose.
The taboos of all taboos, you are so brave and your work is so important. Tbh with you idk if what happened to me even is incest because I’ve never had anyone to talk to about it. Thank you for what you do.
Thank you for introducing me to the concept of the identified patient. Having a word for this feels like a level up for me in staying strong and knowing who I am.
I respect your work and art so much that even if you were having a public mental breakdown, I would still support and share your work as a meaningful, groundbreaking response to our immediate reality.
I'm dealing with a professional situation where I will have to make a public statement about some unethical shit that's happening in the field, and last week I thought "if no one else than me cares about this, I must be wrong and should just shut up". And then I was like no, this is a commitment to truth. I cannot silence truth. And you were definitely someone on my mind when I thought about the hard commitment to truth. The fact that you don't give up helps me not give up on truth either. Just so you remember the importance of your work. PS Moi aussi je voulais l'emporter is such an important book to me ❤️
As a trauma therapist and national trainer on human trafficking, I struggle with shame & anxiety around what I share within the context of this work. I started marketing for my private practice after the birth of my child and loved ones/extended family treated my IG as a postpartum mental health crisis. They couldn’t bare to look at it. Ironically- they were actively denying a family members SA allegations and heavily relying on the legal burden of proof to determine child access (the legal burden of proof is rarely ever reached). This work is hard. It’s quite heavy for most people to sit with. It’s easier to rationalize and minimize. Meanwhile, the world continues to overlook risk factors, signs and symptoms of sexual abuse and incest.
J'ai fini d'écrire une longue lettre à destination du groupe d'amis que j'avais il y a quelques années et dont faisait partie un mec qui m'a violé. Je leur raconte ce qui ne m'a pas convenu dans la façon dont ils ont géré les conséquences du viol dans notre groupe, ce que j'aurais aimé qu'ils fassent à l'époque et ce qu'ils pourraient faire maintenant pour m'aider à me rendre justice. Ça me fait super peur de leur envoyer, parce que je me dis qu'ils vont (encore) me trouver folle, 7 ans après. Mais quand j'ai peur, je pense à toi, à Britney, à Loana (star de téléréalité française qui vient de mourir), et je me dis que j'ai envie de faire partie de cette forte et joyeuse bande de folles, diseuses de vérités.
Merci pour ton travail
J’espère que certain.e.s de ce groupe ont cultivé la capacité de rencontrer ton courage de prendre la parole avec leur propre courage d’écouter et d’entendre.
Et en tout cas j’espère que l’expérience d’être devenue, toi-même, l’amie qu’il te fallait à cette époque-là, peut t’aider à guérir. 🩷
I was so sad to hear how lonely this work is for you. Your writing has an incredible impact. I have incorporated your teaching into my work as a clinical psychologist and frequently refer to it with supervisees and clients who I would have never be able to know are incest survivors without reading you. The number of cases other clinicians bring to me where I have to point out that something is incest is so shocking. I’m so grateful for your writing - it has single-handedly (more than my actual clinical training, supervision, personal therapy or any other professional development I’ve done) made me a therapist who can acknowledge the reality of incest in people’s lives and histories and share with others about how horrifyingly endemic it is. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
😭😭😭
This is amazing!
You are a beacon.
Thank you Clementine.
I worry so much about placing heavy things in view of other people who are probably already suffering. Sometimes I lose touch with what good it can do.
But then I think of my friend who is a survivor too, and how much relief I experience when I am able to have a frank, non-euphemistic conversation about common experiences with a person who isn’t going to be shocked by what happened or how it has affected me. Having a friendship where, among other amazing things, the craziness that arises from abuse isn’t a demerit against our humanity and dignity, is priceless to me.
As survivors we need each other and we can’t access each other without the courage to disclose.
The taboos of all taboos, you are so brave and your work is so important. Tbh with you idk if what happened to me even is incest because I’ve never had anyone to talk to about it. Thank you for what you do.
💔💔💔 i want to rip my skeleton out of my body. no one understands. you do. it's so extraordinarily painful.
❤️❤️❤️ solidarity.
Thank you for introducing me to the concept of the identified patient. Having a word for this feels like a level up for me in staying strong and knowing who I am.
I respect your work and art so much that even if you were having a public mental breakdown, I would still support and share your work as a meaningful, groundbreaking response to our immediate reality.