I am a writer and public intellectual with a popular instagram account. Occasionally I will receive dms from men asking me if I have an Onlyfans. The tone of these messages is always friendly and self-assured. I imagine the guy writing it feeling confident that he’s doing nothing wrong, because, after all, he’s pro sex work, and that’s a feminist stance to have.
Nowhere on my instagram have I stated or implied that I do sex work. I find it absolutely offensive that some men find it acceptable to solicit me for sex work because I am a woman who has a public facing job. I feel very certain that men who do similar work to me do not receive dms asking for their Onlyfans. When I’ve complained about this to people, highlighting the blatant sexism, I have received a lot of pushback. Some have argued that the criminalization of sex work makes it difficult for these men to find sex workers and so they are left with no choice other than to ask. This is obviously not true, because there are tons of sex workers advertising their Onlyfans on instagram, and there’s an entire industry of sex work ranging from porn to prostitution that is easy to access. Others have argued that because I sometimes post thirst traps this is enough to indicate that I might have an Onlyfans. I don’t agree that a woman posting a picture where she thinks she looks hot indicates that she might do sex work.
In my opinion, it is absolutely sexist to ask a woman who has not stated that she does sex work if she has an Onlyfans. It speaks to a culture of sexual entitlement to women’s bodies and to the assumption that a woman’s sexuality is as likely to be her work as anything else (even when it’s very obvious what her job is). There is nothing comparable to this in the treatment of men.
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