This is absolutely groundbreaking work. This is medicine. This is a profound gift to me, to all survivors, and to the world. This is the missing puzzle piece. This floored me because it is precisely the answer I've been looking for. This needs to be so widely read. Thank you.
I felt the same reading it. It put words to the feelings I was processing and having a hard time understanding on a cognitive level. I’m very grateful.
Hi! So happy to be here! I am off instagram and meta now because of the tik tok ban, and that redirection guided me to subscribe to your substack. Your writings and ideas are hyper important. I just watched 'Shiva Baby', and the feelings of humiliation between her and her mom and social circle were apt and evocative to me - I'd be curious what you think of it. xx much love and lifelong respect
Another incredible piece. I had never once considered the distinction between humiliation and shame, let alone shame as a direct consequence of humiliation. But of course it is, and of course helpless rage is born from the same place. To make matters more confusing: the deep, harrowing anger I feel when I think back on my childhood is something I then feel ashamed of; that I had to betray myself to survive, that I still remain angry about it so many years later. Rage and shame feed off each other endlessly, all born from chronic, decades-long humiliation.
The part about child neglect being humiliating -- wow. Another eye-opening moment for me. So many of my most humiliating moments from childhood came from my parents deciding their needs mattered more than my own. In so many ways, this has been harder to overcome than the overt abuse, because I can usually convince myself I didn't deserve to be mocked, beaten, ridiculed, what have you; but I struggle to convince myself I deserved to have my basic needs met. Reading this made me realize I've internalized this humiliation more than the others.
I became a paid member just to be able to tell you how much I value this essay.
Thank you for the support!
This is absolutely groundbreaking work. This is medicine. This is a profound gift to me, to all survivors, and to the world. This is the missing puzzle piece. This floored me because it is precisely the answer I've been looking for. This needs to be so widely read. Thank you.
❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥
I felt the same reading it. It put words to the feelings I was processing and having a hard time understanding on a cognitive level. I’m very grateful.
As always, you describe the indescribable. Your work is an invaluable gift to abuse survivors.
Hi! So happy to be here! I am off instagram and meta now because of the tik tok ban, and that redirection guided me to subscribe to your substack. Your writings and ideas are hyper important. I just watched 'Shiva Baby', and the feelings of humiliation between her and her mom and social circle were apt and evocative to me - I'd be curious what you think of it. xx much love and lifelong respect
Another incredible piece. I had never once considered the distinction between humiliation and shame, let alone shame as a direct consequence of humiliation. But of course it is, and of course helpless rage is born from the same place. To make matters more confusing: the deep, harrowing anger I feel when I think back on my childhood is something I then feel ashamed of; that I had to betray myself to survive, that I still remain angry about it so many years later. Rage and shame feed off each other endlessly, all born from chronic, decades-long humiliation.
The part about child neglect being humiliating -- wow. Another eye-opening moment for me. So many of my most humiliating moments from childhood came from my parents deciding their needs mattered more than my own. In so many ways, this has been harder to overcome than the overt abuse, because I can usually convince myself I didn't deserve to be mocked, beaten, ridiculed, what have you; but I struggle to convince myself I deserved to have my basic needs met. Reading this made me realize I've internalized this humiliation more than the others.
So much to chew on here. Thank you!